TDM#1: Welcome to Phlan

[balancemod]

I'd bring an umbrella and a good pair of waders if I were you. NAVIGATION WELCOME TO PHLAN Click on the map for a full view BACKGROUND. The port city of Phlan, located just north of the Moonsea region, is not an idyllic landscape, filled with images of swashbuckling sailors and brimming commerce. It's a place that's been razed and rebuilt so many times that even the people of this rough and tumble town seem to embody a particular nonchalance to the chaos that exists within it. Entire streets of the city remain either unfinished or abandoned. Farms on the outskirts of town lend prayer to the Goddess of harvest and bounty, and yet, year after year they struggle to make ends meet. The main road leading into town, called the Iron Route, splits at the path just outside the city's gates. To your left, a quiet and somber collection of headstones litter the grounds of the Valhingen Graveyeard. They remind all who venture into this city from the main road of one simple thing: those who are born and raised here rarely make it out. The Director has sent her Reclaimers here, and as the glass bubbles are shot from the Moon Base, they land with thuds against the lining of the Quivering Forest. There are rumors that there's a powerful item hidden deep, somewhere within the confines of towns dotting the landscape of the Moonsea region. Your purpose is simple. Ingratiate yourselves as travelers, offer aid where it's needed, and keep an ear out on the ground for any whispers that might give lead to the location of a Grand Relic. 1. THE WELCOMERS You've spent a few hours in Phlan already, and have probably seen the entirety of its less than stellar nightlife; it doesn't take incredibly long to walk from one end to the other. There's only one tavern in the entirety of the place, and asking any locals where the best food or ale around is will either get you a cold shoulder or a heartily responded "The Laughing Goblin, of course!" The Laughing Goblin is run by a staff of two; a boisterous human woman who everybody calls Bonnie (although no one actually knows if that's her name or a callback to the sailors who frequent the town during stints in the Moonsea), and a rather rotund man named Mar (who tends the kitchen but has a serious soft spot for cats or juicy gossip). You can almost hear the raucous shouts of vulgarities from just outside the doors of the bar. Even tonight's musical guests, a trio of halfling bards who call themselves the Dandy Warhalls, don't seem to be outpacing the chatter and heated conversations going on within. Opening the doors and making your way into the room gives you more of a sense of what Phlan is really about than any other moment you've spent wandering the streets and being a really unfortunate tourist who decided on the worst vacation spot this side of the Sword Mountains. This place is alive. And in some ways, it's a good welcome to the world of Faerun, as you'll be spending quite a lot of time within these sorts of establishments, attempting to make your way through the inner workings of a possibly unfamiliar world. A. WHAT THE BAR KNOWS. ○ Bonnie is running herself to death trying to keep up with the orders. She can't seem to pour ale quick enough to keep the patron's glasses filled to the brim. She knows that this is a dangerous crowd, but she's tough as nails. A skirmish begins breaking out between two humans at the far end of the bar, disagreeing on the roles of the local law enforcement and how helpful they've been to their beloved town. Bonnie flares up almost immediately. "ENOUGH OF THAT OVER THERE. ONE MORE PUNCH AND I'M CUTTING YOU OFF FOR A WEEK, NIFF." Whoever Niff is, he snaps to immediately and sheepishly scratches the back of his head. You can almost swear you hear a defeated "Yes, ma'am," before Bonnie's attention is drawn elsewhere. She could use a hand, if you're particularly good behind a bar, and won't object to the assistance, even if she's leery at first. She just doesn't trust a whole lot of people. Get to know her a little bit, and she'll even complain about how the lighthouse's lens going out last week has made everyone in town anxious as trade seems to have come to a halt. ○ Reizem, Mof, and Jimbob, the trio performing in the back of the room on instruments and trying to invent the concept of rock and roll, are not exactly being welcomed with the type of applause that they'd like. They'll take a break midway through the set list, and are more than happy to talk to some refined guests of higher culture. Jimbob, who's currently sporting a number of upper cartilage piercings, is happy to talk about how this place is the literal worst. Not just any "worst." The literal worst. He's also a little bit drunk. ○ Mar, the only cook and also the only waiter in the tavern, will be happy to stop at your table and fill you in on "The Happs" in town, much to Bonnie's absolute dismay. A loud voice, even among the patrons that are currently three sheets to the wind, he'll disperse a few gems with the promise that if you know anything, you'll return the favor: ○ The local police, named the Black Fist, have been up in arms over the last few days about a shipment that was supposed to arrive at HQ. No one would bat an eyelash at that, since trade seems to have completely stopped once the lighthouse has gone out, but Mar's friends with a few low ranking guards who play bridge with him on the weekends. Yeah, he plays bridge. They got "real quiet" when he mentioned the missing shipment, covering it up with something about their training supplies getting cut short. Seems fishy, even for a place that reeks of fish pretty constantly. ○ The lighthouse over at Sokol Keep has gone out. "First time since I've been alive, that's happened," actually. He'll explain that one of the few rich families of Phlan (old money, he clears his throat with a sound of detestation in his voice) controls the lighthouse. The Black Fist have been sent over there to investigate but no one knows what the hell is happening. ○ Be careful of the Welcomers, a group of bandits who run around trying to steal anything they can get their hands on. "You'll notice you came across one of 'em on a'count of them missin' a gods forsaken ear." B. EVERY D&D ADVENTURE BEGINS WITH "YOU MEET AT A TAVERN, AND..." And it's a good time to meet your fellow Reclaimers, as well. Some of you might have been paired up during the Test of Initiation into the Bureau of Balance, or maybe you dropped into an apartment room to meet a flatmate you never knew you had (or maybe wanted), but there hasn't been a whole stint of time available to you to really get to know each other. Take a seat, grab some ale, complain about the music. The meal of the day, as it has been every day for the last 2 decades, is cabbage soup. It's kind of delicious. You're going to need to figure out lodging for the night as well. The Laughing Goblin has some rooms, but it's definitely not enough to fit all of the Reclaimers in the upstairs apartments. Lucky for you, your handy-dandy Bureau Issued Adventuring Supplies (BIAS, for short) has a sleeping sack and a tent. Maybe it's time to rough it for the night. C. LIKE TWO SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT On your way out though, should you decide to cut it short and head elsewhere, you should probably stick to the main roads within town. A little ways away from the docks district, you can swear you hear a woman crying. Following the source of the sound leads you into a back alley, and just as you approach, you and your companion find yourself cut off on both ends of the street as the woman stands up, sardonic smile twisting around her lips. "Welcome to Phlan." And wouldn't you know it? She's missing an ear. Let's roll some initiative. 2. AROUND TOWN Your first night in Phlan either went amazingly smooth, filled with nothing but a pleasant experience of pure country bumpkin culture at its finest, or knocking out some thugs in a dark alleyway who were attracted to you by the value of your silver armlet. Either way, don't be discouraged, because it's daytime in Phlan, and time to set out to see what this place is like in the light of day. A. THE MARKET There are various stalls open for trade and business. Several of them seem to be closed up; without fresh fish and meat traded in from the nearby cities, access to certain goods is nearly impossible for any of the residents of Phlan. It's cabbage soup all the way down, it seems. Either way, there's a bit of a crowd coming and going from the center square. It's a great place to meet any number of people, Reclaimers or not. B. WHERE'S MY WRIT? Attempt to enter any of the stores that sell weaponry or armor and the first thing you're going to be asked here is if you've obtained the proper license from the Black Fist in order to purchase weaponry. See, there's a bit of a pay-to-play scheme going on here in Phlan. The merchants are offered protection by the local (mafioso) police in exchange for a highly lucrative bribe system, requiring anyone who wants to purchase anything sharp or potentially stabby to head over to the Black Fist HQ to pick up a "writ." And wouldn't you know it? The old man sitting at the receptionist desk of the Black Fist mansion has a mountain high pile of paperwork to go through. But he supposes he might look the other way if you happen to grease his palms a little bit. Anyone who can distract the earnest, hard-working, underpaid administrator to check that stack of paperwork will notice that there's nothing written on any of the sheets below the top one, which is basically just a diary entry from the man to make it look like official paperwork. While accepting your bribe, he bemoans how hard it is to make it by in Phlan these days. C. THE TELLER OF MISFORTUNES Along one of the side streets, you'll notice that there's a dimly lit shop with a stuffed kraken-looking beast dangling from the window. The smell of burnt sage wafts under the main entrance, and you can make out a row of various gemstones and crystals lined up perfectly within the shop itself. For a small fee of 10 silver pieces, you can go in there and meet Filistrom Stromdoodle, a gnomish woman who'll be happy to read your fortune. No matter how bright your prospects may be, she'll alert you that there's some impending doom in your life to come. She's seen a dark figure in your past, an ex-lover, an obsessed stalker. It's never good news with Filistrom. Ever the lover of theatrics and flare, she'll put on quite the show, and offer to cleanse your spirit of dark influences. Although the ritual does work (you're bathed in sage for a solid 5 minutes straight), she charges a hefty 5 gold pieces for it. Refuse, however, and she will absolutely cast a hidden Bestow Curse on you. And your luck from there only gets worse. 3. MISSING CARGO You've heard that the Black Fist have been fretting about lately over a shipment of goods that they were expecting recently. Remembering the Director's advice here- keeping an ear to the ground, not starting trouble, etc- you may get the hunch that getting to the bottom of the missing cargo might prove to get you some information about what exactly was in that crate that the higher-ups in the police were getting so on edge about. There's a few options in front of you to begin your search. ○ Look around the docks. There's a container yard that holds crates waiting to be shipped to and from the city of Phlan. With the lighthouse out, they can't be loaded onto ships and sent across the Moonsea. The waters are just too dangerous to go without a guiding light. You see a number of crates with city seal of Neverwinter on them. Little weird, since anyone that's spent time getting to know Faerun at the library back on the Moon Base knows that Neverwinter is on the other side of the continent. Searching inside any one of the crates (don't get caught!) you'll mostly find grain and agricultural wares meant for trade along the sea route. But one crate in particular has a subtle acrimonious smell to it. Open it up inside and you'll see it's filled to the brim with statues of Tyr. Tyr is a very well respected and beloved God within Faerun, denoting justice and law. Smash open any of these idols and you'll notice enchanted ink dust. Weird. The shipping label points to an appointed spot outside of town. ○ The location that the label directs you towards is a farm just northeast of town. It's seen better days, for sure- but the one thing that stands out is the remains of a recently burnt down barn. The family who owns the farm tells you that there was an accident a few days ago when the kids were playing Hide and Go Boo by candlelight. The children don't say anything about this. ○ Taking a look at the barn itself, you notice there's a similar smell in the air that's reminiscent of the enchanted ink you found within the crate back at the container yard. ○ The family simply doesn't have anything else to say on the matter when questioned. They're still reeling from the loss of their 2 prized family cows, who have won them the Phlan County Fair Blue Ribbon 3 years running. "Best cream on the Moonsea... such a sad loss for us. We'll miss Ben and Jerry so much." The woman of the house will point out the 3 blue ribbons hanging on the wall. It's the only decoration they have in this place. 4. THE BROKEN LIGHTOUSE Figuring out that the lighthouse being out is a huge source of financial ruin for the town, you eventually make your way over the Sokol Manor. The administrative head of the house sits at her desk, one Leela Sokol, pure white hair tidied neatly with a combover part and bright red lipstick on. She taps her fingers on the desk, looking bored and disinterested in your offer for help, but the second you mention that you're not affiliated at all with the local law enforcement, the very edges of her lips perk upward. "Oh, I do love some adventurers just gallivanting about upon our private property." Thinking it over, she rolls her eyes upward to the ceiling, but she guesses this will just have to do. Those of you from Earth may notice two things: she's wearing a bright red pair of heels and happens to look incredibly similar to Meryl Streep. Anyone who mentions that to her will be met with a confused stare and a request for clarification, mentioning that the Streep family over in Melvaunt, a neighboring town on the Moonsea, has no ties to House Sokol. Whoosh. She relates to you that the lighthouse has been tended to by her beloved nephew, Philip, for the last decade and although she wears the fiercest poker face you've ever seen in your life, you get the sense that she has no idea what's going on over at the Keep. Communication has come to a halt both to and from Thorn Island, just off the coast of the city, ever since the only ferryman in town passed away 2 weeks ago. The lighthouse and the Keep are the only things of note on the island that she's aware of. Black Fist Captain Grim and a team of 6 Black Fist guards are typically stationed there, but attempts at talking to the Black Fist over at their HQ have been fruitless. The excuse seems to be the same; most of the force is out either taking care of a recent surge of bandit activity by the town's local gang, the Welcomers, or are otherwise concerned with finding some missing cargo that never showed up a little while back. She'll allow you to head over there and find out what's going on, provided you don't go and talk to anyone in the Black Fist. House Sokol has a reputation to keep up, after all, and tarnishing that by showing distrust in the militia of the city doesn't bode well for her or her family. "Oh, and should you get there in one piece, please do remember not to steal anything. I'll know." Time to get a group of fellow Reclaimers together to find out just what went down over on Thorn Island. A. ARRIVAL AT SOKOL KEEP The Keep is on Thorn Island, surrounded by water in all directions. It's a rough swim, as the Moonsea isn't exactly a calm body of water. Maybe you can scope out a rowboat to help you get there. Either way, coming ashore at the massive mansion will be rather quiet and uneventful. There are no butlers to greet you. No Black Fist standing watch at the gate. Maybe Philip was just that reclusive, or maybe there's another reason that this place feels abandoned. There are 5 main structures on Thorn Island- the Sokol Keep itself, the lighthouse, an eastern tower, a western tower, and the barracks, used to house the guards that come and go from the mainland during their stay here. The stone mansion itself has two floors, and up until recently, looks like it was incredibly well maintained. Funny, since you didn't see any attendants on the island to greet you. Not a speck of dust, anywhere. The banquet hall looks filled as if an evening meal was being served just a few hours ago. Unfortunately, whoever was served this delicious looking feast didn't have time to finish it. It looks like it's been sitting out for days, and the smell of rotting meat is more than just a little pervasive to your senses. B. LOOKING AROUND After searching long enough on this abandoned island, you start to notice a few things that don't quite add up. First of all, Philip's room has a number of books on the occult hidden neatly among the academic literature peppered about in his personal library. Although nothing seems to indicate a struggle has occurred anywhere, investigating the ground around the barracks on the outskirts of the manor indicates freshly upturned dirt that looks like it was recently tilled over to cover something up. Perhaps someone was dragged, but it's really hard to figure out who, or what, could've done that. Your examination of the lighthouse itself shows a crystal at the top of the structure encased in glass that's been warded off and reinforced through magical means. There's no indication that someone had come here to snuff out the light or steal the lens from which the lighthouse operates. It just simply... won't glow. Ransacking the eastern tower reveals a place that doesn't look like it's been touched in ages, aside from a chair that's been moved, uncovering a trail of clean floor in the midst of dust literally everywhere. The dust seems to be everywhere, and spending a particularly long amount of time in here makes your lungs hurt and your eyes water. You do, however, find a small Holy Symbol, a rosary of beads with a small coin on it, the image of a Faerunian god etched into the metal. You're starting to get the sense that this island has been dealing with some below-board stuff lately. Cults, religious symbols. And did you just hear that chair begin to creak? Why do those empty bookshelves up against the wall look like they're vibrating? Time to get the hell out of dodge on this one. Investigating the western tower, however, reveals a bare floor that's been broken into via a pickax. Move some of the earth away and you'll find a hatch. Wouldn't you know it? It's unlocked. C. THE CATACOMBS If you didn't get the chills from the seemingly haunted eastern tower, dropping down through the hatch reveals a damp, dark passageway after a drop of roughly 10 feet below. The catacombs smell damp, have a particularly unsettling feeling about them, and touching the walls reveals an ungodly amount of mud that never seems to quite settle. Prestidigitation that off, if you will. Going deeper, you realize that you're descending below sea level. Eventually, you hit a snag- in the form of a whirlpool that seems to block your way through to the other side. It moves concentrically, and trying to cross it without a plan will end up getting you sucked right into it. At the bottom? You're tossed around like a gnome being fired out of a canon, and hitting the bottom of that pool of water reveals sharpened bones. Most likely human in nature. Better move fast, you can almost feel something reaching out to touch you. Provided you don't drown to a group of skeletons sitting at the basin of the whirlpool, you'll come to a wide open room with an altar towards the back of the cave structure, emanating a sickly violet light. On a raised platform, the body of Leela's beloved nephew, Philip, lies sacrificed. There's a trail of blood that leads from the dais to the pool of water surrounding this statue. Looking closer, you notice that the statue itself depicts something with the body of a woman and 6 slithery heads of a snake, crested with jade jewels for eyes. A hollow laughter fills out from the room as a figure moves forward from the statue. Where the hell did that come from? "Stay for dinner, we've got the early bird special prepared, just for you." Of course, it's Captain Grim. Did you ever think that a dude named Grim wouldn't be evil? He's sacrificed the poor boy and is now currently possessed by some unrepentant six-headed snake beast. His tongue slides out of his mouth, licking his bottom lip. Yep, that's more snake than human too. Make sure you kill this guy. D. THE AFTERMATH Killing, or otherwise subduing Captain Grim (what's your alignment, again?) is enough to make the lighthouse mysteriously come back to life. Whatever desecration was going on in the catacombs below seems to be lifted. Too bad you can't be treated like heroes upon your return to Phlan proper. Leela has made absolutely sure to spread a rumor at the Laughing Goblin about how efficient the Black Fist were at resolving the issue on Thorn Island. Oh well, you weren't doing this for fame and accolades, right? 5. CALL TO ARMS (DEXTROUS): THE SCROLL THIEF The Bureau of Balance has done pretty much everything they could have for this small port town on the Moonsea. The lighthouse has been restored so commerce once again begins to breathe life into the docks district. Sailors have changed their tune from anxious boredom and nights at the Laughing Goblin to the simple blessing that returning to work provides. That is to say, they've (mostly) sobered up and got back on the straight and narrow for the time being. But it doesn't end here, not quite yet. There's the sound of a parade of footsteps emanating out from the direction of the Black Fist headquarters. The entire guard has begun to give chase, and the city is quickly mobilized to a state of apprehension that you haven't seen at all during your stay here. Wherever you are, you're stopped nearly dead in your tracks as a man, not much older than 20, knocks you or one of your party members over on a beeline straight to the ships. You see, tucked neatly under his arm, an ornate looking piece of parchment paper that's been rolled up tightly. The man smiles at you, apologizing, just as a battalion of Black Fist agents begin to approach off from the distance. The youngster who has just collided with you turns his head to look upon this scene and groans. "Typical lugheads. Just what I was expecting outta this shit hole." And he takes off for the docks. He needs to get out of Phlan, and quick. What do you do? OOC: A LETTER FROM YOUR MOD TEAM Hello everyone and welcome to the first TDM for Balance, an experimental DWRP game that looks to combine light elements of time-honored and classic strategy games like FFT, Octopath Traveler, Tactics Ogre, and the wonderful worldbuilding experience of D&D. Our setting and concept is heavily based on the McElroy Brothers' popular D&D podcast, The Adventure Zone. If you're here, there's a good chance that you have interest in some, or all, of the components listed above. First off, this TDM is a little bit different than the TDM's that will come in the future app cycles. This one is structured like a mission mod log and assumes your character has already come to the Bureau, passed the Test of Initiation, and have been deployed on your first foray out into the world of Faerun. The reason we've done this is two-fold: to avoid any possible duplication with the introduction log (as you'll have the opportunity to thread out your arrivals), and we wanted to give everyone a sense of what the real core of the game will be like. So, for the purposes of this specific TDM, and only this one, you cannot take events that occur here as canon upon apping into Balance. Future ones will be more aligned with the Moon Base cycle and can potentially account for CR to transfer into the game. What we're aiming to do with Balance is a little different from your typical DWRP game. In a typical setting, the mods set up some NPCs that have limited contact with you, the player, under a very structured set of conditions. For example, The Director is one of those NPC types, as are her two counterparts (Davenport and Garfield). However, in Balance, we'd like to take a moment to instill something early on as we run through the first TDM of the game. We've listed a few NPC's up there to give you a flavor of their personality and what their look and feel constitutes. Those NPCs are completely pilotable by any of you, at any time. What we're looking to do is give you all a structure for adventure and seeing where you all can take it. It's part of our core value and how we'd like to see things move along. Be amazing- not just in the sense of being amazing to each other and to your characters, but also with your character choices in-game. The world is completely malleable and up to you to meld, mend, repair, or bust. In a nutshell, what we're saying is... go wild. It's okay not to ask permission for something cool you'd like to do. We've given you some outlines of events, but the story that you create as you thread these out is entirely yours. And we, as a mod team, can't wait to see what you bring to the table. blurb code by photosynthesis

Comments

2 THE TELLER OF MISFORTUNES

[thevanguard]

Dude. Never say shit like that. Are you tryin to jinx us?

[ Yata has followed him into the strange little store, needing to give his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim interior. And to have an abrupt sneezing fit, because what the hell, it's like plant people gone wild in this place. He wrinkles his nose, lifting an arm to cover it with a baggy sleeve as he glances around their surroundings.

And completely misses the sight of the gnomish woman, which is pretty impressive, considering. It's not like she's dressed to blend in, but he's caught up trying to take in everything at once instead.

Unlike Ryuji, his gaze has been drawn to a small bottle with a strange substance in it, a bright blue that almost appears to be neon, with shimmering specks floating within it. He reaches out to tap a fingertip against the bottle curiously, wondering what it holds. ]

Who knows. Weird Shit, clearly.

[ryuji]

Nah, don't believe in jinxes. It's all hocus pocus bullshit anyway.

[Note, off to the side, a Filistrom who is already tired of the both of them, probably.

Ryuji's just about to touch the gemstone he sees lined up there, when his focus loosens its grasp over him, and for a moment, he looks over at Yata. What the hell is that?]

Dude... how's it glowing like that? [For someone who has just introduced to a world of fucking magic, Ryuji is entirely slow on the uptake here. It's looks like someone mixed a bottle of Hypnotiq with Goldschlager... not that he'd know that personally. To Ryuji, it just looks pretty as all hell.]

Whatdy'a think would happen if you drank that.

[thevanguard]

[ Oh no. He's not falling for that. But he does turn to Ryuji with a sly look in his eyes before adopting an almost-innocent expression. ]

I dunno. You could always try it?

[ What's the worst that could happen, right?

Also Filistrom, you totally deserve this. ]

[ryuji]

[Jokes on you, Yata! He totally buys the expression. He can't even kind of tell that you're fucking with him. He reaches out to the glass vial and takes it in his hands. Ryuji shrugs, uncorking the top.

Filistrom, on the other hand, sits at her scrying table, watching on in a weird mix of appalled glances and curiosity. Her chin is propped up on her fist and it's so obvious that she's waiting to see if Ryuji's going to drink it.]

Aight. Bottom's up.

[thevanguard]

Dude!

[ Yata's hand darts out to grab the guy's wrist before he can actually down the stuff, his eyes wide with a mixture of disbelief and laughter.

He can't believe he's just found someone dumber than he is. ]

What the hell, you don't even know if that's edible. What if it kills you or, I don't know, turns you into a goat or something. It could give you magical chicken pox! Don't just drink shit without knowing what it does first!

[ Who the hell let you off the moon without a babysitter? ]

[ryuji]

You said to try it.

[Ryuji's smirk is pretty well defined against his features. Look, he's not that stupid, he was going to see how far Yata would let him go, but there's no way in hell he's just going to drink a magic potion he has no idea the effects of.

Well... at least... hopefully not.

But he'll laugh back at him, and although Filistrom looks defeated over there, becoming increasingly bored once again, Ryuji's practically living for this.]

Magical chicken pox.

[Is that even a thing, what the hell.]

I was kinda hopin' it'd make me grow an extra head. [Filistrom stands up.

This is too ridiculous, even for her flavor of patented bullshit. She asks if the boys need anything or would like their fortunes told.]

[thevanguard]

[ He doesn't believe you. At all.

Yata just gives him the dryest look possible and purposefully puts the bottle back on the shelf. ]

Yeah, yeah, it could happen. And I don't think an extra head is gonna do you any favors at this point, either.

[ Of course, that's when Filistrom clears her throat from behind them and Yata gives a yelp as he spins around in alarm, hands lifted in an almost karate chop to stare into... empty air. Oh, right. Gnomes. His gaze drops lower and spots her.

....man, it's nice not being the shortest one in the room for once. ]

Uhh, our fortunes? [ Cue an uncertain glance shot in Ryuji's direction before Yata shrugs. ] Uhhh... sure?

[ He doesn't really believe in that shit but sure, why not? ]

[ryuji]

[There's a tiny debate raging on in Ryuji's head about the pros and cons of having a second head.

Pros: Ryuji can have a field of vision much larger than currently, so he'll always know when someone is approaching. A second head is kind of freaking awesome. He can consume two bowls of ramen at once. He can team up with himself to dunk on people ceaselessly.

Cons: He'll have two fucking heads? What the hell is he thinking, this is a horrible goddamn idea.

Snapped out of it by Filistrom's voice, Ryuji gets a good jump scare from the entire thing as he backs up into a shelf. One of the crystals comes falling down, but luckily enough, he can catch it and place it exactly where it was before. Well... almost exactly, it's still a few cm off from where it should be.]

Are you usually in the business of giving dudes heart attacks when they come in here? Like... what the HELL.

[Simmer down, Ryuji.

He takes a cue from Yata and rolls his shoulders in a shrug. He said it before, what's the worst that can happen?]

Y-yeah. Sure. Whatever. It ain't like fortune telling is a real thing.

[He's seen scammers before, he knows how this works.]

You go first, dude.

[thevanguard]

[ He's pretty sure the con there still wins, dude.

Yata huffs out a breath when the blond volunteers him to go first but holds his hands up in surrender anyway. ]

Alright yeah, sure. Hit me.

[ Except not really, thanks.

But Filistrom takes them back to the table that holds her weird looking crystal ball and Yata sinks down onto the chair across from her, still looking skeptical and a little uneasy.

Filistrom peers into her crystal ball. ]

"Hmm.... quite interesting, really. Ohhhh this one. This one is not good.

Did you know that you have the Mark of the Chupacabra upon you, good sir? It's really the absolute worst- have you ever noticed dogs becoming completely unsettled around you? Barking. Avoiding you. That kinda stuff.

By the next full moon, the mark will grow into its prime. Full adulthood! And in terms of curses, that's when these are at their peak bad luck. It'll start with an incurable amount of acne in the days before, and when the crux of the moon waxes in the sky the brightest.

Oh! Oh, it's so bad. I don't know if I can say it!

Alright, fear not, I wouldn't leave you simply so stranded on your own. At the height of the full moon, you'll feel the sudden urge to walk on all fours and grow a tail! It's horrible!









...


But for a small price, I can remove this curse."

[ Yata just stares at her for a long moment, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. ]

What the hell kind of fortune is that?! Are you shitting me right now?

[ryuji]

[There's something about all of this that Ryuji has to physically keep his hand to his mouth from either blurting something (stupid) out or just straight up laughing at what Filistrom's saying. But as she goes on, it sounds incredibly complicated and well thought out, enough to be almost convincing, and her eerily cheerful voice is starting to pluck a nerve with the easy-to-anger teen.

He tries to imagine Yata with a tail and quadrupedal movements, but then, almost like there's Yata's voice in his head warning him not to do that, he looks between the fortune teller and his fellow Bureau friend.

Ryuji's starting to reach for the coins in his pocket. Whether or not this is going to come true isn't really important? He doesn't want to see something bad happen to Yata either way, and if it costs him a few bucks to make sure that it ends up good enough, he'll throw his hat in the ring for it.]

Uhh... how much of a price are we talkin' about.