Depending on how much you throw, and the amount of force, throwing food at someone's crotch is bound to hurt no matter what.

[Ugh it's going to smell and be nasty if they carry it around, but...maybe there's smaller tablecloths in a linen closet somewhere that they could just fill with the stuff? Dwyer puts a hand to his chin and looks around. Does this place even keep linen closets in ts dining hall?]